She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
