ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
