you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
