Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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