So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
