he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize