How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How's work?
Spinning.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
