How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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