I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize