when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
