My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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