So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
