Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
