Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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