i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
