But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
