Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
