I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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