so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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