addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
