I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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