HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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