try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
