That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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