Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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