dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
