hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize