They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
