Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
