This girl is more easily done than said...
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
