Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
where am i from again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
