Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize