only you would photoshop your dick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
