Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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