i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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