Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
