If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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