It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
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i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
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I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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