Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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