I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
