Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
