Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
