the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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