Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize