that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize