My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
