I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
