Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
