Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
