I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
