Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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