Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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