I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
