So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
