oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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