hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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