Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
