Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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