you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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