He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
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Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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