I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Randomize