playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
