Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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