How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
