What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
