There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize