Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I mean a good dj is a huge turn on

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(281): View more from Texas

Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.

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(208): View more from Idaho

dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

(1-208): View more from Idaho

what the hell does that mean?

(208): View more from Idaho

nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(954): View more from Florida

Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.

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(281): View more from Texas

I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult

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