Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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