I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
