I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sext me about skeletons
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
