I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
