I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult