also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
