Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
