chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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